#271 & #272: Kelsey Preez and Asper Ushe: The Disappointment Twins

     I'd like to preface this post by saying that the art style of today's characters is ever-so-slightly inspired by the snappy illustrations in my Spanish textbook. Not my favorite class, per say, but gotta give credit where credit is due. Shout-out to you, ¡Adelante! Uno by Vista Higher Learning. Kudos for breaking up the hard stuff with stylistic sketches of cheery Spanish-speakers. Props. Now, without further ado, I present to you the Disappointment Twins! *ahem* For years upon years, they've been an enigma. Documented reports of their attacks have been slim, and claims have rarely matched up. A handful of details, however, have remained consistant: deathly pale skin, sullen expressions, unrelentingly sarcastic demeanors, and varying degrees of flannel. As well as their names: Kelsey Preez and Asper Ushe, or as they've been fittingly deemed, the "Disappointment Twins!" Urban legend has it, these omnipotent punks have been burdening people with aggravatingly lackluster luck for over two decades. Some say they're disenfranchised demigods from the god of mischief Loki's brief marriage to a barista in Seattle. Others say they were once average 13-year-olds until they were put under an eternal curse for their disrespectful tones by a black cat in a cute little witch's hat. Regardless of their origins, the duo have become infamous for dragging people down to their levels of irritability by force, and they seem poised to continue doing so for, like, literally forever. Fun fact: prior to being struck with bogus luck, most alleged victims reportedly either a) gave their students an egregious amount of weekend homework, or b) claimed that the Smashing Pumpkins are overrated.

A POSTER + Update on the American High School Experiece

     This week was a very social week. So social, in fact, that I think I may have overshot the end-goal of not being a hermit and accidently become a social butterfly. So, I guess we can consider the dehermitization process a success! High fives all around, team. This a community accomplishment. Anyway, since I don't want to leave the poor posting archive for March in the nude while I finish the next character post, I present to you my Open House poster! My school's Open House happens to have been one of the main events of the aforementioned social week. The theme was "Books: Food for the Brain," and I think I conveyed that quite affectively. Other highlights of the week include, but are not limited to:

• Being rewarded the "Cape of Wonder" and a snazzy bag of candies for my work on the theatre crew, namely my overzealous set design.
• Talking about graphic novels and qustioning the existence of hick-hop with my crewmates while painting boards and such.
• Getting to see a book that was printed before 'Murica was a thing, as part of a cool presentation at Open House.
• Going to Teen Pajama Movie Night on Friday and almost crying in front of my peers while watching Big Hero 6. (You try keeping it together when a boy abandons his puffy robot in a portal, pal. It's not a cake walk.)
•  Winning a cake at the Open House Cake Walk. (Accidentally great segue.)
• Overall continuing to make friends with people I've been going to school with for up to 10 years.
• Eating said cake.

(CLICK TO ENLARGE)

#270: King Tuplet

     Happy March, everyone! I don't know if I've blabbed about it sufficiently yet, but Wondercon 2017 is coming up at the end of the month! I'm going as my own version of the Joker, so that's bound to be ridiculously fun. Fingers crossed that I'll be able to stand out in the sea of Ledgers and Letos that awaits me. (In a world of Ledgers and Letos, be your own Joker. That's the best advice I can give you.) Now, let's get on with the character. Ladies and gents, King Tuplet! In 1999, while everyone else was busy being disappointed by The Phantom Menace and partying likesaid they would, a team of archeologist found a tomb in the Bygonean Forests. Inside, they found a bona fide treasure trove of scrolls and carvings detailing the lives of four different kings. However, they only found one casket. Awe quickly turned to confusion, but since then, the full story has been unearthed. Those fine folks just so happened to have discovered the final resting place of King Tuplet, the JC-Verse's first and only(?) shapeshifting king! Fearing the reprocussions of going full-conqueror but yearning for his own empire, King Tuplet found a way to put his gods-given gift to good use. Crafting the alternative physical forms of "Sornin the Slender," "Haggert of Erk," and "Bundee the 1st," the morphing monarch slowly seized control of four massive kingdoms, as four different kings. Before long, he'd built one of the greatest empires in all of pre-history--without a single chump being the wiser. That is, until ol' Haggert suffered a fatal blow in battle with Gristbite the Ghastly from the north. When all the other kings went missing simultaneously, that's when people started to get the picture. (You'd think that 3 out of 4 kings always being on "royal retreats" whenever the one left over was doing something important would've been enough of a helpful hint.)

(CLOCKWISE FROM THE BOTTOM: King Tuplet in his natural form, Sornin the Slender, Haggert of Erk, and Bundee the 1st. Feel free to click in order to get a closer look at all the kingliness.)