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INTRODUCTION

Hello, homebodies of my homeworld! I am Bathsheba Eliam, a girl who really wants to introduce you to her extra-extradimensional friends! Be it a lionhearted cow with a half-cocked blaster and a bow, or a geriatric jamboree-having bear, Characters. is your chance to submerse yourself in the CVerse (previously known as the JC-Verse), a place where everything, and everyone, is possible. Stay tuned and stay traveled! P.S. Characters. is currently the informational stairway for all things related to the Youtube Channel “Helena Batwoman” and the anti-gravitational adventures of Zowie Cowy.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

#275: Sal Borester

    The shining sun, the sweltering heat and the fact that I'm posting at 7PM on a Wednesday when I should be in fierce, unrelenting combat with my world history workload, all equal one thing. It's summer, folks! I've got approximately 10 weeks of sweet liberation ahead of me, and while those don't consitute 104 days of summer vacation, they will more than suffice. Now, it's time to start things off with a bubble-encased italicized bang, because it's time to meet a character stemming straight from this blog's comic book roots. Ladies and gents, Sal Borester! Willingly pitting yourself against a miscellany of crazed crooks/aliens/deities/dastardly sentient apes, and waggishly quipping at them while you do so, requires that you're one of two things. Amazingly heroic, or alternatively, bat-dung insane. Distinguishing between the two can be a surprisingly tricky task, as exhibited by one of the JC-Verse's most allusive and "interesting" ex-crimefighters, Salvador "Stupendous Sala-Man" Borester. But you can call him Sal. After smashing alongside the Fab Fortification of Peace during the new wave superheroism revival of the '60s, ol' Sal hung up his weathered one-piece and opted to cash in on his above-average DNA. Selling a wide variety of miracle medications and multi-purpose pills derived from his enhanced amphibian blood, the two-toned titan built a business empire. He then began funneling his billions into a busload of ventures, ranging from the philanthropic to the downright eccentric. With a coarse and colorful hide to match his personality, Sal bares not only an uncanny resemblance to a lovechild of the Hulk and Howard Hughes, but also to his own product: he's a tough pill to swallow, but at the end of the day, he might be doing more good than you assume. Call the guy what you want, but you can't call him boring. Or an eft, because that's just a low-blow.


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