#121: Griefer

Now that I'm done totally geeking out over the new Tomorrowland trailer, here's my new character: Griefer, property of the world of SkyStar. There's not a whole lot I can tell you about this guy, I don't want to spoil the SkyStar movie coming in about, say, 30 years. I'll just hit the important points. It's obvious there's something missing from the story of the Virtuality. No, not Mario, he's fashionably late, part of the norm. I'm talking about a villain, and I'm pretty sure a monstrosity such as this would suffice. Having fallen into an unstable underground cesspool of pixels called the BetaZone, the avatar Benzer was forever bonded with said pixels he fell into. Now able to control the "Beta-layer" surrounding him with his thoughts (like changing the color to black so it would be more slimming), Griefer became the most frightening -uh- thing in the whole Virtuality, loving to deceive and play twisted games. If you tossed Venom and Pacman in a blender, the outcome would be very similar to this guy.

#120: Vacuum Jack and the Immorvis

My sister is convinced that the following drawing looks like Catfish from Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja. I encourage you to get a picture of Catfish and compare the two side by side, just to see how far off a comment that is. Now, here is said character: Vacuum Jack and the Immorvis! (Not to be confused with #34: The Dark Vacuum of Space.) Picture yourself decimex (JC-Verse word for a reeeeeally long distance) away. Now picture being on a planet, maybe something resembling Tatooine if you're feeling force-y, and everything at the moment is calm. Then BAM. Truck driver-esque extraterrestrial sucks up your galaxy. Unfortunately, many a planet have suffered that sucky fate due to a guy named Vacuum Jack. Armed with an otherworldly blue force called the Immorvis, capable of devouring whole decimex-worth of the final frontier, he is literally the most dastardly, feared, threatening criminal in all the JC-Verse. Eat your heart out, Capone. (PS, I'll have to thank Stephen Hawking and his talk of the God Particle sucking up the galaxy for this one.)

#119: King Arcadus

One month until Big Hero 6!!! Whatever the name for the populous of Big Hero 6 uberfans is, I'm their president. Baymax Brigade maybe. I'll have to coin that. Anyway, here's my new character: King Arcadus! I already fully introduced you to the the Digital Domain and their incompetent goateed emperor, now I feel it mandatory to tell you about the big pixelated society to the right. The 8-Bit Kingdom. Brightly-colored, fuzzy and chock-full of centipedes and space invaders, the place needs someone to keep it in check. Ladies and gentlereaders, Howell Arcadus, holder of power and wearer of beard. Equipped with an exclamation point staff and a pair of Ozzy Osbourne-style bifocals, he has ruled the kingdom for over 500 years. He also has a very distinct smell of data and lemon flavor power-ups (a few may have gotten stuck his beard).

#118: Emperor N00by

Time for my newest installment in the world of SkyStar: Emperor N00by! In the gamer world called the Virtuality, where angry birds swoop across the skies and road signs read "FROGGER XING," the land is split into two warring halves: Digital Domain and 8-Bit Kingdom. The 8-Bits get King Arcadus, a wise ruler with much experience and an epic Dumbledore beard. The Digitals? Yeah. They get N00by. As full of himself as Pacman is of power pellets, the new-school bit-wit always gets what he wants when he wants, whether it's a cold pixel bath or new goatee gel (he prefers the brand Stiff Under Lip).

#117: MegaZega

Now that I've left those who are normal to try and fully grasp #116: The Mythlihood for a few days, I think it's about time to get back into the swing of things. Ladies and gentlemen, MegaZega, also know as my imaginary crime-fighting persona. But in the JC-Verse, he's much different. Flipping, flying and wooshing through the flashing neon thoroughfares of nighttime Tokyo, the crime-crushing crew called the Bamurai needs (just as any hero group does) a leader. What better leader than MegaZega, also known as Renn Clars! (Renn Clars is also the name that I plan to use to mislead telephone solicitors as an adult, by the way.) Equipped with an arsenal of glowing super-duds, this kung-fu protagonist sends the thugs of Japan running. I was going to dress up as him and defend against the local pranking delinquents this Halloween, but my folks ixnayed the idea. Something about "safety."

#116: The Mythlihood

I'm trying to get my most-viewed post, Jimmy Talon, to be shown on the Tonight Show, considering my Fallon fandom. Jimmy, if you're reading this, I'm putting my hat in the ring for a space in the mono. Okay, here's my new post: the Mythlihood! (Brace yourself, it's a biggy.) Long ago in the JC-Verse, there lived the Overlords of Mythlihood, an order of cloaked beings who kept the inner-verse in balance for several millennia. But alas, they were ixnayed by the Doom Lord Zoo'oz when their secret location was leaked. (Here's where it gets crazy, folks, if cloaked overlords in outer space wasn't crazy enough.) But before they were killed, they declared a prophecy that would be set in stone: (Ahem!) "A pink and purple cow of honor, shall save the universe from being a goner, she shall come and stop the bad, from destroying it all and making things sad. But wait, the mission will end in tombstones, if she decides to go it alone, today it was said as dying we stood, that she'll need to rebuild the Mythlihood." I know. Crazytown. Now, in the 21st Century, it is time for this to come true. Here comes #91: Zowie Cowy, #69: SkyStar, #75: The Magnificent Twimbley, #8 (2013): Juppies, and #113: Wiz Clohnson. Together they are, the Mythlihood! You're goin' down, Zoo'oz. It's about to get real.

BAD-OFF: ROUND III

                         CLICK TO ENLARGE

(Cue announcer voice, please.) Lllllladies and gentlemen, it's time for a BAD-OFF! In this corner of the poster, flying here all the way from Pupilon, the ready-to-rumble retina himself, the Evil Eye! (imaginary cheers.) And over in this corner, looking to pluck that pupil off the podium, is the bad guy Britt with a frightening wit, the Impossible! (More imaginary cheers.) Too villains, only one victor. So, let's get ready for EVIIIILLLL!!!

DOUG JOURNAL PROTOTYPE

Keep in mind this is just a prototype done with the assistance of Photoshop. The real cover will be posted once I've got the proper supplies. (And once I've written it.)