#275: Sal Borester

    The shining sun, the sweltering heat and the fact that I'm posting at 7PM on a Wednesday when I should be in fierce, unrelenting combat with my world history workload, all equal one thing. It's summer, folks! I've got approximately 10 weeks of sweet liberation ahead of me, and while those don't consitute 104 days of summer vacation, they will more than suffice. Now, it's time to start things off with a bubble-encased italicized bang, because it's time to meet a character stemming straight from this blog's comic book roots. Ladies and gents, Sal Borester! Willingly pitting yourself against a miscellany of crazed crooks/aliens/deities/dastardly sentient apes, and waggishly quipping at them while you do so, requires that you're one of two things. Amazingly heroic, or alternatively, bat-dung insane. Distinguishing between the two can be a surprisingly tricky task, as exhibited by one of the JC-Verse's most allusive and "interesting" ex-crimefighters, Salvador "Stupendous Sala-Man" Borester. But you can call him Sal. After smashing alongside the Fab Fortification of Peace during the new wave superheroism revival of the '60s, ol' Sal hung up his weathered one-piece and opted to cash in on his above-average DNA. Selling a wide variety of miracle medications and multi-purpose pills derived from his enhanced amphibian blood, the two-toned titan built a business empire. He then began funneling his billions into a busload of ventures, ranging from the philanthropic to the downright eccentric. With a coarse and colorful hide to match his personality, Sal bares not only an uncanny resemblance to a lovechild of the Hulk and Howard Hughes, but also to his own product: he's a tough pill to swallow, but at the end of the day, he might be doing more good than you assume. Call the guy what you want, but you can't call him boring. Or an eft, because that's just a low-blow.

#274: Splendiferous Diggs: Czar of the Kaleidoscape

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This post is horrendously late, but I did want it to loosely coincide with the anniversary of a little-known album called Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band next month, so that kinda makes it more on time. Three cheers for technicality!

     Fun fact: I'm alive! More alive than usual, I'd venture to say. Because, while I've been heavily slacking on my posting duties for the past few months, I have been chanelling my energies into working backstage at my school's play (among other things)! 9th Grade has been treating me well, folks, and I'm pretty jazzed. Tired, but jazzed nonetheless. I'll update you all on my year in projects and social gallivanting when summer starts, but for now, it's time for a new character. Humans, aliens, and any additional nondescript entities with internet reception, I present to you . . . Splendiferous Diggs! Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. Pretty nice visual, right? This sort of mind-bending arcadian candyland sounds pretty groovy in small doses, but when you actually live there 24/7, the novelty wears off pretty fast. One can cope with this fatique in a number of ways. Start a blog to air your discontent, contemplate wistfully while playing chess with yourself on a mountaintop, or establish autocratic rule over the region and begin kidnapping unsuspecting humans to be your loyal subjects. The last one I don't personally condone, but that just happens to be the choice option of Splendiferous Duplex Diggs, ethereal feline and self-proclaimed czar of a trippy alternate plane of reality called the Kaleidoscape! Charismatic and notably more cognisant than the taffy toucans and butterscotch bandicoots he called citizens, Splediferous grew sick and tired of spending the better half of a millenium with no one to keep him company. Absolute sovereignty is only so fun without scintillating conversation. So, for the past few centuries, the gaudy grimalkin has been prowling the material world, popping up at sketchy carnivals and desert-based music festivals in search of fellow cool cats to help him put the "party" in "one-party state." (Most of said loyal subjects never return from their stay in the Kaleidoscape, but if they do, they usually write conceptual rock albums about it afterwards.)

ADDITIONAL DOODLINGS (SHORT STORY COVER + NOCTROOPERS UPDATE)

     In the meantime, until the JC-Verse is so kind as to spit out another live offering, allow me to tide you all over with some non-character creations I've made as of late. Firstly, I have some jazzy cover art that I made for my sister's short story. Sadly, since the author isn't game to share her poetry with the world wide web yet and I forgot to save the drawing and writing as different layers on Photoshop, the bare bones version will have to suffice. I present to you, "FLOATY.png":

     Next up is a continuation of the post directly below this one, the Noctroopers. I thought the corner of the JC-Verse that that post introduced was especially cool, so I wanted to explore it more by fully-realizing their gaseous aboad, Kreken-V. If any of you fine folks weren't clear on what exactly a industrialized gas planet is, here's your visual. Enjoy!

#273: Noctroopers

    Dreamworks Animation LLC is a quandry. Seriously, I watched Bee Movie for the first time in gosh knows how long on Friday night, and I'm still reeling. One minute they're hitting home runs, and the next they're making a movie where they honest-to-goodness name a character Bee Larry King. BEE LARRY KING, DANGIT. This is the type of stuff that drives a man to the brink. But *ahem* on a less maddening note, it's time for some good ol' fashioned new character(s)! I proudly present, the Noctroopers! Of the many common comic book archetypes, the intergalactic police corps is one of my personal favorites. Whether they be identified by their sheeny green rings or gold helmets, they tend to be one of the coolest parts of any given universe--and with this blog, that's no different. Toss that trope in the blender with another recognizable comic staple, dressing like a bat to scare the common riff raff into submission, and you get the JC-Verse's own brand of cosmic coppers: the Noctrooper Corps! Serving the wartime government of Kreken-V, an industrialized gas planet in the Bathr system, these officers enforce local law while the formal Krekenese army are fighting abroad. With trademark helmets and handy-dandy Model-O7 energy-pistols, Noctroopers work to hold together the chaotic homefront of Kreken-V's empire, shutting down riots, investigating fishy spacecraft, and otherwise keeping things under control. They aren't exactly the long-eared luminaries that they're made out to be in everybody's eyes, but that's a story for another post. (Full disclosure, I've been on a bit of a Star Wars kick as of late, so that's the primary reason the character before you exists. That cape is basically Lando's. I hang my head in partial shame. Don't sue me.)

"JACOB FIGHTS A T-REX" AND OTHER TALES (Wondercon 2017 Recap)

     Look alive, ladies and gents. Spring has broken! The same, however, can't be said for my fever, as I currently have a cold. In the words of a wise kettle-wearing kiddo from a jamming miniseries, ain't that just the way. It's not all bad news, though. Because once upon a time when I could still fully breathe out of my nostrils, I was at WonderCon on Saturday! WonderCon has been a staple of my existence for almost as long as this blog has, and for my 4th go-round, I chose to cosplay as my own comic-accurate rendition of the Joker. So, on Saturday, amidst the swarm of Letos and Ledgers, me and a few other brave souls across the con took to the floor in our tailcoats and baggy striped pantaloons. I can't speak on behalf of the other Jokers, but as for me, the experience was worth all the over-the-top grinning. Let's recap:

ACCOUTREMENTS

     My dad and I put together quite the treasure trove of gag gadgets and gizmos to compliment my costume. Granted, we had to disassemble one of them at the entrance because it was too pointy for con guidlines, but all-in-all, I got some good use out of them:

THE FULL SHEBANG

    Factor in some spiffy attire brought to you by the wubbulous world of online shopping and a really nice tailor, and you have the finished product:

     HIGHLIGHTS OF THE DAY

•  Being bluntly judged by a pair of girls at the entrance for my inclusion of the crowbar.
• Being begged by a giddy stranger to pose with his buddy dressed as Jason Todd while pretending to "beat the living [redacted]" out of him with the crowbar. (The crowbar was a hot topic.)
•  Fighting a T-Rex. Seriously, this was a thing. My mom wasn't quick enough on the draw to get it on film, so you'll have to use your imagination. Picture the inflatable ancient beast below, but roaming the food court of the Anaheim Convention Center whilst wildly wielding a pair of lightsabers. And me engaging it in combat. And losing. I walked into a fight I was unprepared for, that much I'll admit.

• Indulging in some banging ice cream.
• Buying this ridiculously high-qual poster for a ridiculously high-qual movie called Kubo and the Two Strings.

• Additionally buying a glow-in-the-dark Ant-Man pop doll that I'll be using to add some extra pizzazz to my school's black light dance in a couple weeks' time.
• Having my simple photo op with the Flash commandeered by a really hyped cameraguy and ending up shooting a three-picture story arch:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
•  And lastly, eating a multitude of yummies at my third favorite place on the planet: Denny's.
       WonderCon '17 was quite the blast. As far as 4th installments in series go, I'd give it a solid Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix. I'm not gonna go throwing around Mad Max: Fury Roads, but for the record, it was pretty dang close to earning one. If you fancy more shots of the Jacob-brand Clown Prince of Crime in action, below is a big ol' gallery of pics for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy, folks! Now, if you'll excuse, I'll be doing absolutely nothing. Gosh bless Spring Break.

  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  
  

  

  
  

  
  
  

  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  

  

  

  
  

  

  (A round of applause for my sis doing two things that come naturally to her: being Mabel Pines, and kicking me in the stomach.)

#271 & #272: Kelsey Preez and Asper Ushe: The Disappointment Twins

     I'd like to preface this post by saying that the art style of today's characters is ever-so-slightly inspired by the snappy illustrations in my Spanish textbook. Not my favorite class, per say, but gotta give credit where credit is due. Shout-out to you, ¡Adelante! Uno by Vista Higher Learning. Kudos for breaking up the hard stuff with stylistic sketches of cheery Spanish-speakers. Props. Now, without further ado, I present to you the Disappointment Twins! *ahem* For years upon years, they've been an enigma. Documented reports of their attacks have been slim, and claims have rarely matched up. A handful of details, however, have remained consistant: deathly pale skin, sullen expressions, unrelentingly sarcastic demeanors, and varying degrees of flannel. As well as their names: Kelsey Preez and Asper Ushe, or as they've been fittingly deemed, the "Disappointment Twins!" Urban legend has it, these omnipotent punks have been burdening people with aggravatingly lackluster luck for over two decades. Some say they're disenfranchised demigods from the god of mischief Loki's brief marriage to a barista in Seattle. Others say they were once average 13-year-olds until they were put under an eternal curse for their disrespectful tones by a black cat in a cute little witch's hat. Regardless of their origins, the duo have become infamous for dragging people down to their levels of irritability by force, and they seem poised to continue doing so for, like, literally forever. Fun fact: prior to being struck with bogus luck, most alleged victims reportedly either a) gave their students an egregious amount of weekend homework, or b) claimed that the Smashing Pumpkins are overrated.

A POSTER + Update on the American High School Experiece

     This week was a very social week. So social, in fact, that I think I may have overshot the end-goal of not being a hermit and accidently become a social butterfly. So, I guess we can consider the dehermitization process a success! High fives all around, team. This a community accomplishment. Anyway, since I don't want to leave the poor posting archive for March in the nude while I finish the next character post, I present to you my Open House poster! My school's Open House happens to have been one of the main events of the aforementioned social week. The theme was "Books: Food for the Brain," and I think I conveyed that quite affectively. Other highlights of the week include, but are not limited to:

• Being rewarded the "Cape of Wonder" and a snazzy bag of candies for my work on the theatre crew, namely my overzealous set design.
• Talking about graphic novels and qustioning the existence of hick-hop with my crewmates while painting boards and such.
• Getting to see a book that was printed before 'Murica was a thing, as part of a cool presentation at Open House.
• Going to Teen Pajama Movie Night on Friday and almost crying in front of my peers while watching Big Hero 6. (You try keeping it together when a boy abandons his puffy robot in a portal, pal. It's not a cake walk.)
•  Winning a cake at the Open House Cake Walk. (Accidentally great segue.)
• Overall continuing to make friends with people I've been going to school with for up to 10 years.
• Eating said cake.

(CLICK TO ENLARGE)

#270: King Tuplet

     Happy March, everyone! I don't know if I've blabbed about it sufficiently yet, but Wondercon 2017 is coming up at the end of the month! I'm going as my own version of the Joker, so that's bound to be ridiculously fun. Fingers crossed that I'll be able to stand out in the sea of Ledgers and Letos that awaits me. (In a world of Ledgers and Letos, be your own Joker. That's the best advice I can give you.) Now, let's get on with the character. Ladies and gents, King Tuplet! In 1999, while everyone else was busy being disappointed by The Phantom Menace and partying likesaid they would, a team of archeologist found a tomb in the Bygonean Forests. Inside, they found a bona fide treasure trove of scrolls and carvings detailing the lives of four different kings. However, they only found one casket. Awe quickly turned to confusion, but since then, the full story has been unearthed. Those fine folks just so happened to have discovered the final resting place of King Tuplet, the JC-Verse's first and only(?) shapeshifting king! Fearing the reprocussions of going full-conqueror but yearning for his own empire, King Tuplet found a way to put his gods-given gift to good use. Crafting the alternative physical forms of "Sornin the Slender," "Haggert of Erk," and "Bundee the 1st," the morphing monarch slowly seized control of four massive kingdoms, as four different kings. Before long, he'd built one of the greatest empires in all of pre-history--without a single chump being the wiser. That is, until ol' Haggert suffered a fatal blow in battle with Gristbite the Ghastly from the north. When all the other kings went missing simultaneously, that's when people started to get the picture. (You'd think that 3 out of 4 kings always being on "royal retreats" whenever the one left over was doing something important would've been enough of a helpful hint.)

(CLOCKWISE FROM THE BOTTOM: King Tuplet in his natural form, Sornin the Slender, Haggert of Erk, and Bundee the 1st. Feel free to click in order to get a closer look at all the kingliness.)