Hello, 2016! You're much more 2015-like than I was expecting, but what the hey. You're here! Okay guys, time for my new character: Eyesore the Eliminator! Ozotonium is a prized and mysterious commodity in the JC-Verse. One injection/sip/soothing bath of the stuff and you'll be slingshotted approximately 3 to 5 notches up the evolutionary sequence. The population of
Animaland was just your average petting zoo selection wandering about on a distant planet before consuming the stuff! So naturally, all you have to do is grab yourself some, stick it in your system, and sit back and wait for your new swaggalicious Superman-esque enhancements to kick in, right? Well, that's what a couple of black market monster-ologists thought when they tried to create their own
anthropomorphic animal out of your average toad. Unfortunately, it's not that easy. When they injected the glowing green stuff into said unsuspecting amphibian, they mistakenly used
impure Ozotonium, which . . . well, doesn't have quite the same effect. The result? The blobby barbarian you see before you. The monster-ologists were caught in the act and taken into custody, while their creature escaped, later acquiring the nickname Eyesore the Eliminator and coming to blows which such heroes as
NightOwl and
NunChuck. I think that was a pretty sufficiant lesson on the JC-Verse for one day. Cue "The More You Know":
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