#252: The Inexplicable Trinket-Man

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      A happy belated 4th of July to all my fellow 'Muricans out there! Hope your 2016 Independence Day was better than 20th Century Fox's. *baddum tsssss* Sorry if you liked that movie, but the joke writes itself. Also, I've decided to give this new font a try to spice things up a little around here. Feel free to offer reader feedback. Now, onto my new character: the Inexplicable Trinket-Man (also known as Joe). This one's pretty meta, people. But before we get to all that, a simple fact: some really weird crud happens sometimes. Whether you think they're scientific anomalies, interventions from the great Cosmic Owl in the sky, etc., they happen, and often they just can't be given a finite explanation. Like the Man from Taured. Or most of M. Night Shyamalan's movies over the past 14 years. And given that the JC-Verse is basically our universe, Earth and all, only 89% more bonkers, it only makes sense that these weird occurrences are way more common there. And knowing that little tidbit, it only makes sense that some poor JC-Verse resident named Joe could somehow end up getting spontaneously ZAPPED into our universe. And more specifically, into the room of an 8-year-old named Mikey. Which happened. That's right, ol' Joe was just struttin' down the sidewalk, trying to slip in some lazy man's cardio to the 1980-something power ballad in his headphones, and then BOOM, he was retconned right out of his home universe and into a closet full of Bionicles and Buzz Lightyear trinkets. He was startled, and rather befuddled by the 3rd dimension belonging to his new surroundings--as well as by the fact that he lost his physical form through the whole interdimensional ZAPPing process. And once he realized he was stuck there for the long haul, Joe decided he needed to adapt. So, after assembling a proper new body from the various knickknacks present in the tyke's room, the "Inexplicable Trinket-Man," as I've deemed him, began fighting to survive across this harsh, carpet-clad terrain, and continues to do so to this day. I think the JC-Verse's 4th wall is in too dire condition for me to do an orthodox close, so Completely Irrelevant Guy is really the only way to go here. Close us out, buddy!

"Completely Irrelevent Guy approves this post, and hopes YOU have a dandy day."