#262: The Pixelites

     Howdy pilgrims and R.I.P. unsuspecting Meleagris gallopavo everywhere, because no matter what Target is trying to tell you, Christmas isn't here just yet. It's Thanksgiving time. Before October is too far gone, though, here's a link to the special animated header I made for Halloween, now that I've immortalized it on the Youtubes. Alright, I semi-promised you all a post explaining who the heck the Pixelites are. It's time to deliver. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you . . . well, the Pixelites. (Duh.) We humans have a tendancy to think we're super high-tech and awesome until we look back in a few decades and see that we weren't really that high-tech and awesome. Remember 30 years ago when we thought the future was now because we could make a big dot eat a bunch of smaller dots? Or 20 years ago when we thought we were the big cheese because we could make a plumber's disembodied head stretch nightmarishly? (Seriously, that stuff is Kafkaesque.) Well, as a wise man in a really bad movie once said, "there's always a bigger fish." And as far back as 200 years ago in the bustling Glimmorrian Starsystem, one such wopper of a fish was born. That fish was known as the Pixelite Party, and they had cracked the code to a little something called transpixelation. (Disclaimer: don't go expecting my 9th-grade self to get into the minutiae of how this was accomplished. Okay? Okay.) The Pixelites' founder, bona fide extraterrestrial Tesla Sa'Barritan Basslee, had found a way to bridge the gap between the digital and physical realm and render computerized creations right into the real world--all with a little device he called a Pixofield. This was all dandy, but the reigning powers of Glimmorrius weren't exactly jazzed, and feared that the senator's Enlightenment thinking would severly mess with their more medieval way of life. So, just like that, the Pixelites decided it was time to hit the road. Setting up shop on a barren nearby planet called Klex, the motley alliance of bright inventors, philosophical thinkers and other impressive Glimmorrian minds got to work, and within a century, had gone as far as to line the whole atmosphere with a massive Pixofield called the "Pixosphere." Beings from all across the system began joining them before they knew it, and now, Klex is the hub of the Glimmorrian, a trans-digital utopia where everyone is free to to partake in the high-res spectacles that the Pixelites are capable of rendering from thin air. So, next time we Homo sapiens think of something new to do with a dot or a plumber's decapitated noggin, think twice before y'all get up on your high horses.

(A modern member of the Pixelite Party in their traditional garb, including a fancy-pants pair of digitalized wings.)