BAD-OFF VIII: VACUUM VS. VACUUM

I've gotta say, I've been waiting for this Bad-Off pairing for a long time. Iiiin this corner, we've got a vacuum! Iiiiin the other corner, we've got another vacuum! It's a sucking showdown, folks! A Dustbuster duel! Some dirt-fighting fisticuffs!! Now that I'm done going on an alliteration rampage, get voting, folks!

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#166: Finn Dangerment

I am currently writing this while grooving to the soundtrack that I have assembled for an indie movie I will be making one day. The film will remain nameless to you, the public, but the soundtrack includes Will.i.am and a band of animated guys named after a large primate. Anyway, now on to something that sounds much more normal (maybe): Finn Dangerment! He's a golden retriever for more than one reason, folks. That's right. He's a treasure hunter. Adventurer, global galavanter, furry fetcher of priceless knickknacks, etc. Whatever name you give him, Finn is the best in the bizz, and certainly the only one who gets paid in Iams. Whether it's the Amulet of Poochywoochy or Mansa Musa's ancient trousers, this Raider of the Lost Bark always gets what he's searching for. He and Snowy from The Adventures of Tintin are both part of the Dog Adventurers Guild. They have frisbee nights on Fridays.

#165: TyrannoThesaurus Rex

White and gold. That's all I'm gonna say. Anyway, here's my new character: the TyrannoThesaurus Rex! Long, long ago in the Vocabulassic Period, this literate lizard stomped across the prehistoric plane amongst Verblociraptors and PastTensedactyls. But after the period meteor struck Earth, it marked the end of the ol' T.T. Rex's time in this world. That is, until now. Down in his library lair, the diabolical Word Smith has found a way to resurrect this pronoun predator and is now using it in his scheme for world word domination. You know that time you said that words can't hurt you? Think again.

!ANNOUNCEMENT OF TRIPPY PROPORTIONS!

As you without a doubt already know, I've been known to add some healthy confusion to my blog by taking full advantage of the shared universe. Well, ol' Jakey McBloggypants is up to his old tricks. Introduciiiiing - imaginary drumrollllll - MULTIVERSE! A limited series of characters coming to Jacob's Characterz! this March! It will consist of other-dimensional versions of old blog characters of mine. Bad guys might be good. Good guys might be bad. In another dimension, I might be normal (highly unlikely). But I won't be doing this alone. From now until the end of the series, I'm calling on all you awesome readers and animator pals of mine to post your ideas for which characters I should include and how, in the comments on this very post. Go ahead, folks! The floodgates are open!

LINKS ARE HAPPENING

My excellent friend Lydia may be best known on the blog for her character, #22: Donn, but do you know she has an awesome blog of her own? It's called Createjewels and it kicks my butt in view count. I'm so proud! I really suggest you check out her awesomeness down at Polyvore. Now, without further ado, the link. Enjoy, guys!
http://createjewels.polyvore.com/

#164: Rodge Cosmos

You haven't seen anything until you've seen your dad impersonating Cher. You want to look away, but you can't. You just can't. Here's another character: Rodge Cosmos! In 1954, a brave dippy-do astronaut named Rodge Cosmos was sent into the abyss of space by UNDEROO to explore the starry new frontier. He was set. He was equipped with everything he might've needed. A fazer gun in case he ran into evil. A helmet for oxygenless atmospheres. A rose in case he ran into a stunning green miss on the slither for amour. But on his quest, he got stuck in a time vortex and was spit back out where he came in after, say, 60 years. This sent the guy, unaware of the time that had past, flying back in the direction of Earth. 2014 Earth. A place that he is now convinced is an alien planet, and where he is roaming around Manhattan as we speak. True story. Will he find out he is actually home or will he forever be living in the chaos of "Planet Manhattan?" Tune in later for the amazing conclusion of Rodge Cosmoooooos! *Heroic ditty*

#163: The Atlantis City Saltwaters

Okay everybody, here are my new characters: the Atlantis City Saltwaters! When wondering who to root for in the dribbling domain of basketball, there's a lot of teams to choose from: the Lakers, the Heat, Tune Squad from Space Jam, etc. But amongst that lot, one group of athletic aqua-dudes surely have my vote. Meet the Saltwaters, the official NBA team for the underwater city of Atlantis. These guys have everything. Gill'd skills to pay the bills, Mervin the Merman as a mascot, and aquariums-worth of adoring fans. With Poseidon as their coach, these splishy-splashy superstars are a force to be reckoned with. Home games back at their stadium, the Dunk Tank, aren't exactly easy though. It's kinda tricky for human players to play a good game in scuba suits. It doesn't really gel.

#162: Blurg Shneeblur: The 567th President of the United States

The President addresses the nation - and addresses his height issue by standing on a pile of gripping novels behind his podium.

Sorry for the pathetically small spattering of posts I've been doing for you guys as of late. I've been busy writing my comic book, watching movies and working on a freakishly detailed Idea Wiki page for a Jimmy Neutron 2018 film. Anyway, here is a late President's Day gift for you guys: Blurg Shneeblur! In this day and age, we're seeing an awesome deal of diversity. So much so that in the future, our great nation elects this guy as the first extraterrestrial president! Representing the Flérff party, President Shneeblur does many great things in his 2 terms, such as adding Yoda to Mount Rushmore, issuing the PhoneHomecation Proclamation, and abolishing the government's unpaid alien labor force that I might get arrested for letting you know about. Residing in Washington DC in his U.F.O.O. (Unidentified Flying Oval Office), this leader of the free galaxy is a 3-toed, scaly step in a bright new direction. He's definitely the first Prez to say his Oath of Office in Shoobaflexian, I know that.