#203: Big Smitty Gibbs: The Man With No Shame

      My mom is doing impersonations of Russian spies and accidentally giving me water on a spoon to drink at breakfast. Yep, it's definitely Friday. Anyway, time for something somehow even weirder. Ladies and gentlemen, Big Smitty Gibbs. Throughout the history of the WFE - Worldwide Facepunch Entertainment Inc. - there has never been anyone like Big Smitty Gibbs. Deemed "The Man With No Shame," this bro-fessional wrestler was known for his ability to happily defy every known law of normalcy. He had glued-on Velcro back hair to help ensnare his opponents, he never took off his revealing wrestling costume, not even to shower or go to the local mini-mart, and he somehow managed to have a goatee and a beard. At the same time. He was a champion and sensation, that is until he did something never before done in television wrestling: he actually fought the opponent. People were flabbergasted. With all his belts now removed, he diminished into nothing, starring in a cheesy TV-movie called Eye of the Dinodragonsaur, and a kung-fu-lates workout cassette called Get It Like Gibbs before vanishing off the face of the Earth. Legend has it he now has a mullet and teaches kung-fu-lates to some ladies down at the local Y.

FILE PHOTO CIRCA 1990-SOMETHING